I’ve never been one who can remember quotes from people or lines from movies. Hell, I have a hard enough time remembering what someone said to me yesterday, but there is one quote that has stood out to me for years now. Eckhart Tolle, one of modern day’s greatest spiritual teachers, has said, “Awareness is the greatest agent for change”. In my mind, this could not be truer. But what is awareness and why is it important?
Psychologists have studied self-awareness for decades and even though the definitions may vary slightly, the core of self-awareness boils down to being present in a given moment without being critical of yourself. It’s about recognizing the feeling or thought that you are experiencing at a given moment and understanding why you are having that feeling or thought. Once you recognize it, you can detach yourself from it and move forward with growth.
Just the other day, I noticed I was feeling frustrated and even somewhat angry. I had been that way since waking up and it wasn’t going away. I could feel the frustration deep inside and noticed that I carried that feeling into everything from the traffic to people and to my job. As I was running errands for work, I could feel the frustration boiling over. I went to make a bank deposit and when the lady in front of me finished her transaction, she turned and gave me what I perceived as a dirty look then walked right into my personal space almost bumping into me when she had all this other room around her. I immediately thought to myself, “What the hell is her problem?”.
Right after that, I had to find a Dollar General store to get some supplies for work. You’d think this would be a pretty easy task, especially with GPS, but not this day. I was driving towards the store when I almost ran a red light because I was paying more attention to the GPS than to the road. Somehow, me almost doing that was not my fault, but was because of the GPS. So, my frustration level went up. As I pulled into the parking lot where the store was supposed to be, I noticed that it was gone. Thanks again, GPS! Now my frustration had reached a tipping point. Nothing about this day was working out for me.
That’s when I had to take some deep breaths and figure out what was going on. I started asking myself a lot of questions. Yep, I talk to myself all the time! Sometimes I even do it out loud, and I’m sure I provide a lot of entertainment for other people. There I was, driving down the road, going totally out of my way to another store when I said out loud, “Ok, Christine, what’s really bothering you today?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Ok, I’m angry with myself.”
“Why are you angry with yourself?”
“I’m angry with myself because I’m not doing what I want to be doing at this moment.”
“What is it that you want to be doing?”
“I want to be working on things that feed my soul and honor my purpose.”
“Ok, why haven’t you done those things this week?”
“Well, part of it’s because I’ve been so tired.”
“Ok, so get some rest. There’s nothing wrong with that and you need to take care of yourself.”
“But I’m also angry because I wanted to have done more by now.”
“Well, you can’t go back in time but you can make some changes so why don’t you carve out time this week?”
“That sounds fair. I’ll get some rest and then on my day off, I’ll set some goals so I feel better about all of this.”
The conversation went on a bit more, but I soon realized a few things from my experience. There was nothing wrong with the lady at the bank. The problem was with me and my perceptions of her actions. GPS failing me? Nope, there wasn’t anything wrong with the GPS either; it’s technology after all, and technology fails sometimes. I also realized that my frustrations were affecting everything I did and the energy I was putting out there. Until I was able to change my way of thinking, those negative thoughts were going to continue. The most remarkable observation from this was that once I became aware of why I was feeling so much frustration, my entire mindset changed, and I felt ready to accomplish some of my goals and take on the world. I suddenly felt extreme happiness and all of my stress was gone. I knew that to get in the space where I wanted to be, I had to change some patterns and take some action. That simple process of being aware of my feelings and getting to the core of the cause immediately changed my outlook and put me in a better frame of mind.
If we can make a conscious effort to be aware of our thoughts and feelings, it becomes so much easier to respond to things around us. We can change our attitudes, our course of action, and our impact on other people. Awareness brings to the forefront of our minds what steps we need to take to change our lives. If we neglect to be aware or if we just live by going through the motions, we fail to grow as individuals and a society.
So, here’s my advice. If you don’t like how things are going for you right now, take a few moments each day to be aware of why you’re feeling that way. Shut down outside influences and just be still with yourself. Know that only you are responsible for your attitude and choices; it’s not what others do to you or how someone else “makes” you feel. Learn to understand what’s driving your thoughts and emotions and know that if you want something more, you have the power to make it happen.
Want some tips on how to be more self-aware? Stay tuned for my next blog when I’ll discuss some of the techniques that have worked for me and countless of other people. Until next time, I hope you all find a way to begin Living Differently and Better.
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